When I talk to my White friends about future plans, they NEVER add the “no kids” clause at the end of their list of advantages or things they have going for them.
Why do all of my People Of Color DO this?!
ONE It sadly implies that your life is over if you have kids before a certain age. Children are not an automatic handicap on your life. The timing can be an inconvenience. There may be a change or adjustment of life plans…but if you’re a good parent, having good kids can actually be added to the list of things you have going for yourself.
TWO It really is a reflection of what is going on within our communities. There is a significantly larger amount of teen pregnancies among African Americans & Latinos than Whites. Because the teen pregnancy rates are so high, people feel like they have accomplished something magnificent by avoiding what they feel is becoming a norm. I know the point of the list is “I can head in any direction I want because I don’t have to worry about anyone other than me,” but having kids doesn’t seem to be something that my White friends feel would be a possible hindrance at this age that is worth mentioning.
I don’t have time to elaborate how I really want to right now…but I’ve been really beginning to notice the same conversation can sound so different across racial boundaries.
Has anyone else noticed this trend?
tbc…..
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