HGKWW ::: Q&A V

Q: I have a problem with my scalp. I started trying the co-washing thing and my hair loves it, but sometimes there's a white film on parts of my scalp. When my hair dries, it flakes up a little bit. Is this a bad reaction to the conditioner?

A: It sounds like you simply haven't been rinsing the conditioner out of your hair well enough. I doubt your scalp is having a bad reaction to the conditioner. You just need to make sure that you are getting all of the product out of your hair or else you'll experience residue build-up. One thing you can do is experiment with different conditioners. Here are a few ways to avoid and remove product build-up from co-washing, or even just shampooing.

1. Wash your hair in SECTIONS. If you haven't done this before, the difference will be life-changing. Depending on your patience and hair length & thickness, you should part your hair into 4-6 sections before washing it. Not only does it make the hair easier to manipulate and minimize tangling, you will have better access to your scalp. Not having to navigate blindly through your hair will help you target common problem areas, such as the crown of your head and the area behind the ears. Many people experience product build-up in those areas since they are easy to miss.
   
2. CLARIFY YOUR SCALP using a clarifying shampoo. These shampoos are more drying to the hair than others so I suggest you focus them on where they are needed most--your scalp. Clarifying shampoos break down build up and make way for your conditioners and moisturizers to work their magic.
   
3. Use a CLARIFYING CONDITIONER when you are co-washing. They are designed to not leave behind any residue as normal conditioners will do over time. You still need to be sure to rinse well, but it makes the job a little bit easier.
   
4. Try an APPLE CIDER VINEGAR (ACV) RINSE after using your conditioner. In addition to removing build up from the hair, ACV rinses can help the hair cuticles to lay flat, helping to prevent split ends and lock in moisture and nutrients. Your hair will also get a boost of shine!!! You simply spray or pour the ACV rinse on your hair once you have rinsed out the conditioner.
   
   
   Apple Cider Vinegar Mix

   1-2 tbs apple cider vinegar
   2 cups room temperature distilled water/rosemary water/spring water
   
   
   
   

HGKWW ::: Warning...Warning...PROTEIN OVERLOAD

Y'all can't laugh.

I'm serious.

I'm going to share a horror story with you. It was traumatizing and old emotions are resurfacing as I recall this past experience, so bear with me. *deep breath*

A few months ago, I got really busy with my apartment hunting and re-locating to Washington, DC...& I didn't notice that I was low on my moisturizer. I figured I could just use my Cantu Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioner for a day or two until I made it to the store. A "day or two" turned into a week or so. Terrible idea. I forgot that the Cantu Leave-In is protein-based and my hair is very protein sensitive.

When I took my hair down for the weekend, my hair was snap-crackle-poppin'...dry. brittle. stiff. AWFUL. I was scared to manipulate it because I just knew it was all going to break off in my hand. I know. Horrible. Poor me.

This is called a PROTEIN OVERLOAD.

Symptoms? Your hair will feel DRY & BRITTLE. It TANGLES EASILY & if not handled ASAP, you could experience BREAKAGE.

Solutions? It is important that you AVOID PROTEIN-BASED PRODUCTS until you have restored the protein-moisture balance in your hair--best done with the help of a MOISTURIZING DEEP CONDITIONER.

I try to tell my friends who have had Protein Tragedies that yes, your hair needs protein, but not all protein conditioners and treatments are created equal. For example, Aphogee is a really hard core protein treatment and I've heard quite a few horror stories.

People who have chemically treated hair (relaxers, dyes, etc.) are in need of protein treatments more often than those with natural hair since those processes break down the hair. Protein is also key for transitioners--it helps strengthen the line of demarcation and prevent breakage. For natural hair, you have to pay attention to how you hair responds to know if you're protein sensitive, protein needy, or somewhere in-between.

Need some lighter sources of protein? 

Aveeno Nourish + Condition Leave-In Treatment

Garnier Fructis Fortifying Conditioner Long & Strong

Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner

HGKWW ::: Beware of Hair Routines!!!

Here is a story a reader emailed to me recently:

I'm honestly not a fan of protein treatments. One day, I bought a 2oz bottle of aphogee protein treatment on my way to a Dominican salon in New Brunswick. Disclaimer: This is a horror story. Jess, I took it to these ladies thinking that because they had a license to run a shop that they would know how to use this product. Jess...this product made my hair like feel like a potato chip/styrofoam. I didn't know hair could be so crispy!! I literally held my breath while waiting to wash because I thought my hair would fall out. It made my hair hard and crispy!! I don't know what I was expecting, but certainly not that. The aphogee protein treatment is super intense and super foul smelling. That experience was so off putting that I stopped going to the salon indefinitely and didn’t try the whole protein thing again for 8 weeks. I also find it hard to restore the moisture back into my hair once I apply the protein treatment. I’m giving protein one more try. Then I’m done.

So a couple of things came to mind after reading this...

ONE. In order for hair to be healthy, it has to have a good balance of protein and moisture. If your hair is screaming "I'm thirsty!!!" then give it something to quench its thirst! If your hair is complaining about feeling a little weak lately, then give it a boost of strength! That means give your hair moisture when it needs it & protein when it needs it. In another part of this email, the reader clearly expressed that she has problems with her hair being dry. She needs to be focusing on restoring the moisture balance and not protein right now. So don't give up on protein, honey bunches!!! Just know when to apply it.

TWO. Certain products cater to different extremities of hair needs. I know I talk about moisture all of the time, but protein is something that your hair does need. You just have to be careful not to overdo it and become a victim of a PROTEIN OVERLOAD.  If she wanted to make sure her hair was getting the needed amount of protein, a light protein-based conditioner could have been sufficient. Many protein treatments are directed at people who need some major protein rebuilding in their hair (people with chemically treated hair so this might be a common mistake for recent transitioners). If your hair suffers from dryness, too strong of a protein-based formula could throw your hair balance in the wrong direction.

THREE. Watch out for hair stylists that just do whatever the customer wants without any sort of consultation or suggestions. They should have known everything I am telling you now and pointed my dear reader in the right direction. 

FOUR. Why was the reader applying the protein treatment at that moment in time? Was it because her hair told her it needed more protein? Or was this some routine she had created and was trying to stick to? There are so many blogs and books and other sources of information that insist that you make a hair routine and stick to it. I'm a little more lenient. My "routine" is more of a guide. Yes, there are things that need to happen in a timely fashion. But 9 times out of 10 I have reached up to touch my hair and thought "Hmmm....maybe it's time for a such-and-such." Just because I usually wash my hair on Tuesdays won't stop me from doing an emergency wash on Monday. LISTEN TO YOUR HAIR. That's one of the best things you can do. Do not be a slave to your hair routine!!!!

A great read on balancing the moisture and protein in your hair: HERE!!!!!!

 

HGKWW ::: Q&A IV

Q: I've been neglecting my ends and now they are split like crazy!!! What can I do to fix them? Are there any ways that I can repair them and avoid having to cut my hair?

A: You are not going to like what I am about to say. I know you may see commercials for hair products that promise to fix this and mend that. I am sorry. But once your ends are split, there is no going back. The only way to get rid of split ends is to trim them. Anything else you see that claims to negate what I am telling you? It is only temporary and you will eventually have to cut your split ends off regardless. 

Don't hold on to split ends!!! I know it hurts to see length go, but if you try to keep your split ends around long enough, the split can travel up the shaft of the hair and soon there will be an even bigger issue at hand.

On the good side: Maybe this will serve as motivation to give your hair the attention it craves. Any split ends and damage to your ends that results from your neglect, is most likely irreversible. Preventing split ends is one of the best ways to help with length retention.

Remember to:
Keep your hair moisturized.

Wear a satin scarf or bonnet at night.
Minimize heat usage if you cannot avoid it completely.
Manipulate the hair less often.
Wear protective styles.
Trim hair when it needs to be trimmed!!!

::: HGKWW ::: What's YOUR type? ;-)

I'm sure you have noticed that not every chick you see with natural hair has the same curl pattern in their hair. And I wouldn't be surprised if you asked someone with a different hair type for some advice or a  quick tip & when you tried it, the results weren't quite the same.

One important step in learning how to care for ur natural hair is understanding the characteristics of your hair type. I was trying to plot on the best way to break this down for my readers & ran across this wonderful article on the Hair Type Classification System posted by NaturallyCurly.com.


I encourage you to check it out!!!


What's your type?!

::: HGKWW ::: Healthy Hair Is "Good Hair"

The "good hair" discussion has been coming up over and over again lately.

I cannot stand when people classify "good hair" as a certain hair curl pattern or length. & it hurts my heart to see women feeling discouraged about their natural hair journey because they are having hair-type envy.

I have people tell me all of the time that they can't go natural like I did because they don't have "good hair" like I do. Let me tell y'all one thing. I work HARD to get my hair to look decent everyday. I don't just roll into bed at night & roll out in the morning looking fresh & ready to go for the day. This isn't magic. I constantly experiment with hair products and styling methods. This wasn't innate knowledge. 

I also dislike the story that many Black women like to tell about how they know their hair is unmanageable without a relaxer so they've been getting one since they were 6 years old. *serious face* You were doing your own hair at age six? Do you TRULY remember how your hair was when you were that young? Who told you your hair was impossible to deal with without chemical alteration? I'm pretty sure you did not come up with that on your own. Don't let other people stick their negative conclusions upon you. 

Now. If you so choose to get relaxers because that is the best for you and that is what you are comfortable with? Fine. I'm not going to gather my fellow kinky ladies & stand outside your home to protest. But please do not tell me that you get relaxers because you don't have "good hair." Please don't. If that is what you believe, then keep it to yourself.

Don't tell me you can't wear your hair in its natural state because you do not have "good hair." That implies to me that your definition of what makes hair good is all skewed and mixed up.

So how do I define "good hair"?

Healthy hair is good hair.

The end.

Just because you get a relaxer to make your hair more manageable for you, does not mean it is healthy if you do not take the necessary steps to maintain it.

Just because your hair has a looser curl does not mean your hair is automatically healthier.

It takes time to learn how to handle your hair when it is natural. Especially since by the time most of us were old enough to handle our own hair, we had relaxers slapped on to our scalps to save us from the plaguing struggle of having to work with our kinks and curls. *insert sarcasm here*

Just be patient. If you see someone rocking a style or if someone recommends a product & when you get home & try it, you have a tragic outcome, don't be discouraged. Don't pout & declare that you have been skipped in the distribution of good hair genes. Everything doesn't work for everybody. Everything does not affect everyone the same way.

Love your hair. Embrace it. Take the steps you need to in order to keep your hair healthy and you too can flaunt your "good hair." xoxo

HGKWW ::: "I love my hair!!!"

I'm sure by now that many of you have seen Sesame Street's "I love my hair!" video...

And if not:




Cute, right? ABC News released an article on the inspiration of the video that you can check out here:

ABC News: 'I Love My Hair' Video Inspired By Father's Love of Daughter

Now take a look at this:

"I Love My Hair" T-shirts 

*UPDATE: The site removed the photo of the white model & now only have the picture of the t-shirt up... "I Love My Hair" T-shirts updated

This company chose to have a White young woman model a t-shirt based on something meant to show African American girls that they should love their hair as it is. Does the race of the model really matter? Do you think this website missed the point? Do you think the message of the t-shirt changes once someone who is not African American decides to purchase and wear it?

Thoughts? Feelings?

HGKWW ::: The War Against Dry Hair: The Right Conditioner

In an earlier post, I mentioned that not all conditioners are equal. Nor are they all designed to do the same things for your hair.

I stress the importance of moisturizing the hair all of the time. But if there is one more thing that can fight off the dreaded dry hair dilemma...it's conditioning conditioning conditioning.

But! The right conditioner.

Some conditioners are meant to rebuild the protein in your hair. What we need right now is to replenish the moisture content of our hair.

Here are a few of my fav go-to moisturizing conditioners (& as usual, they are on the easy-on-the-pocket end):

Herbal Essences Hello Hydration

*Herbal Essences Replenishing Conditioner

*ORS Replenishing Pak (word on the street is it comes in bottles now!!!)

Suave Humectant

Suave Almond & Shea Butter

*Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Hair Mask

*Dove Intense Moisture

*Creme of Nature Nourishing Conditioner

*Try these conditioners when doing a deep condition. Deep conditioning for AT LEAST 15-20 minutes (& under a hooded dryer, if you can) is a must. I usually shoot for 30-45, especially in the absence of a dryer.

Of course, these are only conditioners I've tried. There are TONS more to try. What ingredients should you look for?
ONE. Water
TWO. Fats (fatty alcohols)
THREE. Humectants/Emollients

HGKWW ::: The "Search & Destroy" Trimming Method

I love scissors. Too much.

Give me an array of colored construction paper & see what happens.

There was a time when if you told me I needed to trim my hair, I'd look at you like "BACK UP!!!!!"

Well, not anymore...I've learned to get over my hair cutting phobia. In fact, lately my friends have been screaming for me to stay away from the scissors. But I really despise crappy looking ends & seeing my split ends fall away is really therapeutic.

But don't be like me & go hair chopping crazy!!!

Many people like to get their hair trimmed every 6-8 weeks. The truth is, if you take good care of your ends, most of your hair probably doesn't need a trim! There are usually a few culprits in every bunch, but overall your ends may be just fine. So how can you avoid cutting hair that does not need to be cut?

The Search & Destroy method!!!

And yes. It is exactly what it sounds like. You search for the damaged ends and you destroy them!!!!!!! Well, you cut them off...

The S&D method can be done every month or two and definitely in-between full trims.

*NOTE* Whenever you cut your hair make sure that you are using actual HAIR SHEARS...not regular scissors. Using scissors that are not specifically designed to cut hair can result in MORE damaged and split ends.

There is no real set way to perform a search-and-destroy...I've seen several suggestions on how to do it. I usually don't make it through my whole head in one sitting and I focus on about one square inch of hair at time. Make sure your area is well-lit so you can clearly see which ends look stressed and are splitting.

Here's a chart to guide you in knowing which ends need to go:

Because I do not wear my hair bone straight often and favor curlier styles, I do not need all of my hair to be exactly the same length. This makes me a little less anal about getting traditional trims, so the S&D works for me.

All you need is good light, hair shears, a mirror, a magnifying glass if you so desire & PATIENCE!!!!!

HGKWW ::: The War Against Dry Hair: The Shower Cap

I'm ALWAYS looking for another way to combat the dryness I experience with my hair. And so, every once in a while, I'll share something I've added to my constantly growing arsenal.

Today? The shower cap.

I'm sure that most of us know that shower caps can prevent moisture from getting to our hair. However, not only can a shower cap keep the moisture OUT, it can keep the moisture IN.

Have you been trying your best to keep a daily and/or nightly hair moisturizing routine and STILL notice that your hair is dry when you wake up in the morning? PART of that reason may be because the air is soaking up all of the moisture from your hair products before your hair has a chance to absorb it.

My suggestion to you? After you moisturize you hair as explained here, put a plastic shower cap (the little cheap clear plastic ones will do) over your hair & then place your satin scarf or cap over top of it. Leave it on overnight. In the morning, take the cap off a few minutes before styling and manipulating your hair. Because the shower cap trapped the moisture inside of it, your hair might feel slightly damp. This usually isn't noticeable and dries quickly, which is why I suggest removing the cap a few minutes prior to when you actually begin to style your hair.

Your hair should not feel dry like it usually does since it was allowed more time to absorb your moisturizers before the air got to it. 

Let me know if you try this out, what you liked, what you didn't like & how you remixed it for yourself!

HGKWW ::: Natural Hair in the Workplace

I was talking to my mom the other day about how I try to be careful about what hairstyles I wear to work. The short conversation we had inspired me to want to write a post on how certain natural looks are received in the workplace. But first, I was curious about my readers' experiences...

Do you ever feel uncomfortable wearing your hair in all of its glorious kinkiness at work?

Do you think certain styles aren't appropriate?

Has anyone (supervisor, manager, etc.) ever suggested you change your hair? If so, how did you handle it? If not, how would you handle it?

How big is too big when it comes to styling your hair?

Which styles do you feel work? Which do you think don't make the cut for work?

Do you feel obligated to straighten your hair for work?

Do co-workers ever make comments about your hair, whether positive or negative?

Please feel free to share your thoughts. This will probably develop into a series of posts & I might even throw in some quotes from your feedback...

Drop a comment or email me at jagray4@gmail.com with the subject line: HGKWW

HGKWW ::: Q&A III

Q: I read somewhere that alcohol is bad for my hair. The problem is I see it in every hair product when I check the ingredients. Avoiding alcohol is pretty much impossible, so what should I do?!

A: My issue with a lot of the information you find about hair care is that people don't give a complete breakdown of the facts. You do not have to completely avoid alcohol when buying hair products. Why? Because not ALL alcohols are bad for your hair.

Here are the alcohols that you need to avoid:

• Menthanol
• Ethanol
• Alcohol Denat
• Isopropyl Alcohol
• Propanol
• SDA40
• Specially Denaturated Alcohol
  These guys can dry the hair & leave it looking frizzy.

And believe it or not...there are alcohols that are good for your hair:

• Acetyl Alcohol
• Cetyl Alcohol
• Lanolin Alcohol
• Lauryl Alcohol
• Stearic Acid
• Stearyl Alcohol
• Sterol Alcohol
  These are capable of softening and conditioning the hair.

So you can breathe!!!! Not all alcohols are out to get you!!!! Of course, everyone's hair is different & reacts to products differently, but you can use this as a guide to put you in the right direction.

HGKWW ::: Q&A II

Q: What can I do to minimize how tangled my hair gets whenever I wash it?!

A. Detangling hair can be a very frustrating process. But the best way to make detangling less of a hassle is to minimize the amount of tangling that happens in the FIRST place! Here are a few simple tips.

• Wash your hair in SECTIONS.  You will not regret it. Depending on the thickness & length of your hair, separating it into 4-6 sections should be sufficient. I usually braid or twist sections that I am not working with at the moment. Honestly, whenever I do anything with my hair, I put it into sections. It makes the hair so much more manageable.
• Detangle while conditioning. Use a shower comb or a medium to wide toothed comb to detangle the hair after applying conditioner to wet hair. Conditioner helps make the hair easier to work with.
• Work from the ends to the roots. Nothing hurts my soul more than seeing someone quickly drag a comb from their roots all the way to the ends of their hair. You are tearing your hair out. Ripping it. If you take a moment, you will HEAR the hair breaking as your comb goes through it. Take your time. Start at the ends of the hair and work your way up to the roots until you are able to carefully comb through that sections of hair. 
• Use a deep conditioner w/ silicones or natural oils. Let it sit in your hair for at least 20 minutes. If you have a hooded dryer, cover the hair with a shower cap and sit underneath the dryer while you are conditioning. The silicones and oils in the deep conditioner will help the comb glide through your hair.
•  Detangle w/ a natural oil before washing. Only a little bit of oil needs to be applied to each section of the hair. Because the hair is still dry, work tangles out with your fingers. Using a comb on dry hair is BEGGING for breakage. 
• & last..........................BE PATIENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Put It On Repeat ~ Janelle Monae "You Are My Everything"

I love this song.

It's 4 or 5 years old...but it feels brand new every time. Janelle's voice is simply golden.

Janelle Monae "You Are My Everything"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGnp4D8mzSw

HGKWW :: Q&A I

Q: What's the point of using a clarifying a shampoo right before you deep condition? Can you clarify at the conditioner stage instead?

A: So I'm assuming your logic is "Why do all of that cleansing to remove product build-up just to put more product on it?!!!!" Think of the clarifying shampoo as clearing the way for the conditioner so it can better penetrate the hair shaft. The shampoo knocks all of the old product and dirt and oil away so there is no interference when the conditioner tries to do its thing. The conditioner is necessary directly after to restore any goodies the shampoo may have stripped away in addition to the gunk you actually wanted to remove from your hair. It also remedies the dryness experienced after shampooing. If you think the clarifying shampoo may be too drying on your hair, yes, there are clarifying conditioners available. Do note that the drying effect is why I recommend only applying the shampoo to the scalp & roots and not the entire length of the hair.

HGKWW ::: Dry Cleansing & Conditioning

Soooooooooo

I tried something new recently & it was amazing. I was actually being lazy (don't be like me!!!) & then after my great results, I did some google'n just to find out that other people already knew about this.

Ok, Jess. What the crapizzle did you do?!!!!!!

I put conditioner in my hair while it was still dry. & it was good.

I had just shampoo'd my hair a few days before, but I'd been having a dryspell & decided to co-wash & deep condition as an attempt to get my moisture balance back in check. However, I was being drawn into this episode of "Dr. G, Medical Examiner" & didn't want to be away from the TV too long...and behold, my lazy behind idea.

From a few natural hair forums, I discovered that people refer to shampooing and conditioning the hair when it is dry as "dry cleansing" and "dry conditioning," respectively.

Here is my little version of both processes:

Dry Cleansing (shampoo)

• Section hair
• Work the shampoo only on to the scalp and near roots of the hair (Shampoo is drying & I prefer to only apply it to the base of my hair follicles so it won't weaken my ends)
• Rinse out each section.
• Why this rocks?
• Avoid drying length of hair
• Shampoo can latch on to dirt and oils without interference of water
• Helps focus on getting scalp cleaner, especially for those with scalp issues---buildup, dry scalp, flakes

Dry Conditioning (conditioner)

• Section hair
• Work conditioner thoroughly into each section.
• Detangle (carefully) with shower comb.
• Rinse out each section after at least 10 minutes.
• Why this rocks?
• Less detangling to do without the initial rinse of hair before adding
• Less shrinkage!!!!!!!!

As for the dry cleansing, that may take a little longer than traditional shampooing since you are focusing on the scalp. Other than that, this new discovery has changed my life. Really. Especially being able to condition and deep condition without the initial rinse. It is just great. I recommend you give it a whirl & let me know how it goes for you!!!

HGKWW ::: This Is Not the Hair Bible.

Although I will not budge about some of the things I tell you (MOISTURIZE EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), some things are open to adjustment. These are my suggestions to point you in the right direction. The Hair Police (they exist...don't moisturize & see what happens...) will not come find you and punish you for altering something so that it works best for you.


That is all. Keep the questions coming =)

HGKWW ::: What is CO-WASHING?

WHAT IS CO-WASHING?!!!!!

You simply wash your hair with conditioner. That's it.

Now...some people might fight me on this...but...

I do not believe that co-washing should be a complete substitute for washing your hair with shampoo. Shampoo is designed to remove dirt and product buildup in ways that conditioner is not. If you do wish to join the folks who swear by co-washing and have abandoned shampoo, I strongly recommend using a CLARIFYING SHAMPOO once every month or two to rid your hair of the buildup from your conditioner.

What are the BENEFITS of Co-washing?

One. Conditioner does not dry your hair like shampoo. It leaves it feeling soft and moisturized.
Two. The detangling process goes so much smoother!
Three. For my transitioning ladies, it helps make blending new growth with relaxed ends a little easier.

Um...so how do I do it?

You use your conditioner the same way you would use your shampoo. That really is all there is to it. Section your hair. Slather (I just like that word) each section with conditioner. Work it in. Detangle w/ your shower comb. Let it rest for a couple minutes. Rinse.

And how often is this supposed to happen?

Because co-washing does not result in as much drying of the hair and does not strip down the follicles, some people will do it daily. I do not actually co-wash as often in the colder months because it is good to do as a prep for the wet-and-go hairstyles I ONLY do in warm weather (DO NOT WET-AND-GO IN COLD WEATHER!!!). Co-washing several times a week helps protect and revive my hair in its wet state between my regular shampoos. Depending on my time schedule, I will try to co-wash at least once a week when it is cold out.

Which conditioners are best for co-washing?

Some easy-on-the-pocket options? Mane-and-Tail, Suave Humectant, Suave Tropical Coconut, Herbal Essences, Frutis Garnier, Kinky-Curly Knot Today

What if it is not quite working out for me...should I keep trying?

You can experiment with different conditioners, but honestly, co-washing simply may not be the thing for you---and that's perfectly fine! I do recommend giving it a try, though!



HGKWW ::: Let's Be Clear...

Shampoo is shampoo. It all gets your hair perfectly clean.....right?

Wrong.

There's clean and then there's squeaky clean.

Now WARNING: To all of you who like to go overboard & make a good thing bad...

You do not want your hair to be "squeaky" clean every time that you wash it. You will eventually risk stripping your hair of its nutrients and weakening it leading to BREAKAGE. So please do not take what I say & run away with it...at least, not too far. Do we have an understanding here? Great.

We have our lovely moisturizing and nourishing and replenishing and repairing and revitalizing shampoos. But the problem is, many of these shampoos can leave some residue behind. Yes, I know. You are looking at me crazy because how can something that is supposed to clean your hair get it dirty, too?! All of the ingredients put in shampoos used to moisturize and nourish and replenish and repair and revitalize your hair can cause buildup over time. This is why you need to invest in a CLARIFYING SHAMPOO.

Clarifying shampoo gets rid of any leftover gunk from other shampoos and conditioners. It also clears the way for nutrients to better penetrate the hair shaft when moisturizing and conditioning. People who have trouble with scalp buildup (meee!!!) will benefit from having a fresh foundation. Your hair will have that squeaky clean feeling and should even gain some shine!

I don't recommend doing this more than twice a month. Of course, you should adjust your usage depending on how much product (mouses, gels, cream, leave-ins, etc.) you've been using in your hair. I usually focus on the roots and scalp area and squeeze the shampoo through my hair towards the ends once I am about to rinse it out. (Remember shampoo can be drying on the ends of the hair!) And don't forget to still condition your hair after using your clarifying shampoo!

Clarifying shampoos to check out:

Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo

Pantene Pro-V Purify Shampoo

V05 Clarifying Shampoo

Aubrey Organics Green Tea Clarifying Shampoo

HGKWW ::: Be Prepared!!!

I've been asked what items to keep around to make caring for natural hair a little easier...

Some key things you will want to have on hand:

*To protect your hair at night*

Satin scarf or bonnet

Satin pillowcases

*For detangling & combing*

Medium/wide-toothed seamless comb

Shower comb

*Styling*

Hair pins/clips

Duck bill clips

Rollers/Flexi-rods

Metal-free ponytail holders

*Shampoo & conditioning*

Plastic shower cap (deep conditioning)

Moisturizing shampoo

Clarifying shampoo

Conditioner

Leave-in conditioner

Deep conditioner

*Moisturizing*

Water-based moisturizer

Oil sealant

*Trimming*

Hair shears

*Extras*

Hooded dryer

(If you must) Ceramic flat iron

Heat protectant

*PATIENCE*

Off the top of my head, these are the basics that you need to have in your arsenal. It seems like a lot at first glance...but I promise that it is not & that you probably have most of these things already!

HGKWW ::: The Big Break-Up

I recently talked to a friend who had questions about the amount of breakage she was experiencing while trying to grow her relaxer out to go natural.

She didn't understand why she was losing so much hair and was two seconds from giving up because she thought it had something to do with her new growth ruining her hair.

I told her that she needed to take into account that she was dealing with TWO DIFFERENT TEXTURES in her hair now. She can no longer treat her hair as she would if it was still relaxed; however, she can't simply jump into a natural hair routine either & neglect her chemically treated ends.

So this is a quick run-down of what is going on with the transitioning process & how to minimize breakage.

LINE OF DEMARCATION

The point where your relaxed hair and new growth meet is called the line of demarcation. Here, your hair is very weak and it is where you can expect the most breakage. This is why it is recommended that a touch-up relaxer is done ever 4-6 weeks. The presence of two different textures can cause hair to break more easily.

CONDITION

If there was ever a time for you to really focus on conditioning your hair, THIS IS IT. Keeping the protein and moisture in your hair balanced can prevent breakage, especially when you are transitioning. Of course, your new growth and relaxed ends may need different kinds of product to ensure that this balance is maintained; however, taking the extra time to figure out when to use what products is worth the effort. Go here to read more about balanced hair.

MOISTURIZE

If you keep up with my blog, you are probably tired of hearing this. But I can not stress how important moisturizing your hair is. If you are trying to avoid your hair snapping at the line of demarcation, then preventing it from getting dry is one of the best ways to do it. Find an earlier post on how to properly moisturize hair here.

BLENDING

One thing people are always afraid of is how they will look when they venture away from their usual straight hair styles. You will never find your new niche if you stay in your old one. When transitioning, your focus has to be on blending your two hair textures, NOT making your new growth look like your relaxed ends. This means giving the blow dryer & flat iron a rest and experimenting with braid outs and roller sets and other hair styles done while the hair is still wet. Plus, all of that heat will put stress on the line of demarcation & what are we trying to avoid here? Right. Breakage.

TRIM

I know how hard it can be to let go of length. But you need to pay attention to how your ends are looking so that you know when it is time to trim those relaxed ends. You want to avoid any split ends traveling up the shaft of the hair. I have recently adopted the "Search-and-destroy" method for trimming my hair>>>post coming soon!!!

PROTECT

Wearing protective hairstyles to keep your ends tucked away, wearing a satin scarf or cap at night, and investing in a satin pillowcase or two will help prevent breakage, as well. Put the flat iron DOWN. Unless it is a hooded dryer, try not to do it. In case you missed it before, flat ironing and blow drying yank on the hair and snap! Another tip--combing dry hair is a NO-NO!!! The best time to detangle the hair is during the conditioning process. Run the comb through the hair once the conditioner is in it, starting at the ends of the hair and working your way up--DO NOT EVER COMB YOUR HAIR STRAIGHT THROUGH FROM THE ROOTS ALL THE WAY TO THE ENDS! That is a recipe for extreme breakage.

Many of the things mentioned here are tips that should be used on all hair. Transitioning from relaxed to natural is such a fragile time for hair, though so skimping on any of these things could be asking for extra hardship and possible disaster. If you can get these things down and make them a habit during the transitioning process, once all of the relaxed hair has been removed you will be in great shape for caring for your natural hair.

Once again, I encourage any questions or comments!!! This is a very general post & I can go into more detail on any of these tips. Just ask! I'll do my best to suggest ways to ease your frustrations!

HGKWW ::: all grown...out?

Over the past few years I've seen more and more women decide to go natural by doing the "Big Chop"...

I was 13 years old when I decided two years of burning my scalp every 6-8 weeks with Just For Me was enough.

But there was no way in Beelzebub's house that I was going to do the Big Chop. A baby fro was NOT what was hott in middle school & I couldn't imagine myself without long hair anymore.

So I grew my relaxer out. And oh, how I wish I knew the things that I know now.

Having two entirely different textures on your head is really frustrating. They react to products differently and demand different amounts of attention.

Many transitioning women depend on braids, twists and weaves to get them through the change. But what if that is not in the budget or simply not your style? What if you just want to know how to deal with your own hair?

First, I must warn you. It will NOT be easy. This is part of the reason why women are so proud of their natural locks when they start to see progress. You work for it. It does not, however, have to be a painful process.

A few things to keep in mind...

1. DEEP CONDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping the moisture and protein in your hair balanced will so crucial to avoiding breakage. The bond between your relaxed hair and new growth is weak and fragile. Neglecting to keep your hair conditioned is asking for trouble.
2. ADJUST YOUR ROUTINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, what was working for your relaxed hair may not be working out all too well for your new growth and vice versa. You will have to look around for products that make both hair textures happy.
3. EMBRACE YOUR CURLS!!!!!!!!!! Learning to give the flat iron a rest from time to time is a big step. Avoiding styling with heat will help decrease the amount of breakage you might see. Manipulating your hair all of the time never allows it to rest.
4. COMB WHEN WET!!!!!!!!!! I had to learn to not try to do too much combing and detangling when my hair was dry. All I would hear is "snap snap snap" from my relaxed hair breaking from my new growth. You still have to be gentle when the hair is wet, though. Combing the hair while the conditioner is still in it helps with the detangling process. Experiment with styling your hair when it is wet.

I am going to start posting on transitioning hair from time to time. Sometimes you need a little pep talk! Set goals for yourself and reach out to others like you, even if it's just on natural hair forums. Feel free to comment on this post with questions...that'll help inspire future posts!!! Even if I don't know the answer off the top of my head, I don't mind doing a little research to help out!

140+ ::: Gold Diggers

Do you know that song by Teirra Marie called "Sponsor"? Why did it get so much heat? Why can the fellas sing/rap about how they can buy us nice things & then get upset when we sing/rap about all the nice things you buy us?!!!

Let me tell you one got-dang thing. The way you present yourself affects who you attract.

A gold digger isn't gonna hover around a guy who isn't showing her all of his money.

If u don't want a woman who is mainly about ur money, then don't try to court women using mainly ur money. Duh, fool.

Now me, personally? I do not like to take things from men. So you will never hear me cry to my man about anything other than some cuddle time. No Gucci, Michael Kors, Fendi, Jimmy Choo, Chanel, Prada, Givenchy for me unless I bought it my daggone self. There is a whole spectrum of women and I just happen to be on one extreme end.

If you are trying to attract a cool, funny lady who you can have some nice conversations with, then be cool and funny and start a nice conversation.

Or you can flash your cash and be surprised when the material girls show up.

HGKWW ::: "Do as I say & not as I do"

When it comes to my hair, I am far from a saint. I have some lazy ways and bad habits. Yes. Shame on me. If I wasn't blessed with so much hair, I swear I'd be bald.

College made the laziness REALLY kick in because I always found an excuse not to carry out my hair routine (meetings, coursework, SLEEP). Part of the reason I started the natural hair posts on my blog is to create some kind of accountability for myself. Yes, people always ask me how I got my hair to do this and that...but it's hard to tell people what to do when you're not doing it yourself. Guilt will keep poking you in the ribs, reminding you that you are not practicing what your preach.

Now that I have completed my undergrad career, I have more time to focus on me. This includes taking better care of my hair again.

In my last post, I gave the basic rundown of how you should go about washing your hair. In the interest of keeping it simple, I didn't go into which shampoos and conditioners should be used and how often and so on.

FIRST
Here is a 2 minute tutorial on understanding protein and moisture (more in-depth post coming soon):

• Moisture: water gives hair elasticity
• Protein: gives hair strength and structure 
• Your hair needs to have a balance of moisture and protein to be healthy and avoid breakage.
• How to tell what your hair needs:

THE WET ASSESSMENT

Use this chart to evaluate your hair while running through it with a comb or your fingers.

When your hair is…	& it does this…	Then you need…
Wet or Dry	Stretches slightly and returns to original length w/o breaking	Neither more protein or moisture—you are BALANCED
Wet or Dry	Stretches a little more than normal before breaking	More protein
Wet or Dry	Keeps stretching with no significant breakage	More protein
Wet	Feels weak, mushy or limp	More protein
Wet or Dry	Snaps with little to no stretching	More moisture
Dry	Feels rough, dry & brittle	More moisture

If you aren't really sure about what your hair needs from how it behaved, then add more moisture to be on the safe side.

Now all of this was important because there are protein based and moisture based products. You need to know what your hair needs in order to know which products you need to be using and how often.

• SHAMPOOS
• Moisturizing Shampoo (use 1-2 times a week)
• soften & detangle hair, sodium/ammonium lauryl sulfate free
• Neutragena Triple Moisture Cream Lather Shampoo, Creme of Nature Shampoo, Aveda Sap Moss Shampoo
• Clarifying Shampoo (use 1-2 times a month)
• remove hair product buildup, gives squeaky clean feeling
• Pantene Pro-V Purity Shampoo, Suave, AVEDA Detox, V05
• CONDITIONERS
• Deep Conditioner (use protein or moisture based depending on hair needs; use once a week after moisturizing shampoo for 30-40 minutes under a hooded dryer, if possible)
• Moisturizing: Neutrogena Triple Moisture Daily Conditioner or Deep Recovery Mask, Dove Intense Moisture, Herbal Essences Replenishing Conditioner, Ms. Jessie's Rapid Recovery Treatment
• Protein: Suave Humectant, ORS, Motions Moisture Silk
• Leave In Conditioner (Use after shampooing hair or as daily water-based moisturizer)
• Moisturizing: Neutragena Triple Moisture Silk Touch Leave In, Kinky Curly Knot Today, Motions Spray Leave-In
• Protein: Cantu Shea Butter Leave In, Mane & Tail

There are hundreds of products out there. I only listed a few products I have used before (& boy have I tried a TON of hair products). Go out there & experiment! Research your products! Don't just trust the brand and the label.

***Also...just because something is in the "ethnic hair care" aisle does NOT mean it is the best for your hair. I purposely included brand names like Neutrogena, Dove & Herbal Essences because many times we write those products off since we grow up thinking they aren't made "for us." We become married to the products we grew up using, but we really don't need to be. For example, you will only find hair grease under ethnic hair care, but grease is not even good for your hair!!!!!! Don't limit yourself to a product line because it is packaged in shades of brown or has a brown-skinned woman on the front of it. EXPAND!!!!!!!!! EXPLORE!!!!!!!!!! EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!

The Wet Assessment Source

HGKWW ::: all washed up!!!

Washing your hair may seem as simple as slapping your favorite shampoo around in your hair for a couple minutes before rinsing it out...but there is a little more to it.

There actually is a right way to wash your hair.

Before I say anything else, though...do yourself a favor and buy a shower comb!!! They really are that great, especially if your hair is natural. There is such a difference between how a regular comb versus a shower comb glide through your hair when detangling in the shower. Plus, there is much less of a risk of ripping your hair out.

I usually co-wash (washing hair with conditioner...post coming soon), but this will focus on how to correctly execute a basic wash using shampoo, conditioning the hair afterward.

TIP: Before we begin, I strongly recommend placing your hair into sections. This allows you to manuever through your hair more easily and results in less tangling. It will also make the rinsing process quicker and more effective.

ONE: Rinse your hair for about a minute or two before adding shampoo. You want to saturate your hair and rid it of any topical debris, dirt and oil. You also want to make sure all hair product buildup is gone before you add shampoo

TIP: Warm or cold water are fine to wash your hair with (notice I did NOT say scalding hot); however, I recommend using warmer water initially to help open the cuticles and cooler water for the final rinse to close and seal them.

TWO: After getting a lather going in your hands, work the shampoo on to your scalp and NOT the ends of your hair. This is where washing your hair in sections may come in handy, especially for thicker hair. Shampoo is actually very drying on the ends of your hair, something I learned only a few years ago, so you will want to focus on using it to clean the scalp and near the roots of your hair.

TIP: Use your fingers to rub and massage--not scratch--your scalp. Although it feels so good sometimes and we might even remember Mom giving our scalp a good scratch'n when we were younger...your fingernails really should not be making that much contact with your scalp, if any. Scratching damages and irritates the skin, which is not conducive to a healthy scalp.

THREE: Rinse WELL. Time permitting, repeat shampoo process. You might want to allow the shampoo to rest for a couple minutes before rinsing it out the second time around. This gives the shampoo more time to bind to any leftover dirt and oil from the first round. Rinse THOROUGHLY.

FOUR: Apply a conditoner, focusing on the hairline and ends of the hair. Remember that good ol' shower comb? Use it to comb conditioner through the hair, which will smooth and detangle the hair. Place shower cap on your head to allow the conditioner to do its work for about 10 minutes before rinsing.

Simple, right?

There are different kinds of shampoos and conditoners that all have different effects and purposes, depending on what your hair needs. Do your research! Make sure you know what you are putting in your hair and if you are giving it what it needs. And of course, I'm always here to help you find your way ;-)

WOTD :::vulnerability:::

For the first time in my life, I feel completely vulnerable.

New city.
New job.
New home.
New financial obligations.
New love.
New friends.
New responsibilities.

Nothing is safe.

vulnerability

[[[noun form of vulnerable]]]

vul·ner·a·ble adj.

1. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.

2. Susceptible to attack
3. Open to censure or criticism; assailable.



• New city.

I recently relocated from New Jersey to Washington, DC. All I have known my whole life is New Jersey. I spent 23 years and 2 months as a NJ resident. My mom got a job in Virginia and just peace'd out, so it's not even like I can go visit her in NJ because that isn't "home" anymore.

So here I am in the nation's capitol. Trying to get comfortable.

Do you know how annoying it is to go from being able to give people directions ANYwhere including the landmarks without a second thought to having to pull up Google Maps every time you need to find a CVS or gas station? UGH. I've been pretty good about learning where NOT to go alone at night, though...which is pretty much OUTSIDE.

• New job.

I am a fresh & hot off the press college graduate. I plan on going back to school soon, but until then I need a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table. What better way to make that happen than to score a job?! I'm just beginning to stop having inner panic attacks whenever I speak to the CEO. He's really cool, actually.

• New home.

I mentioned that I live in DC now. That includes a new place to live. Since Mom's new house in VA is still a little foreign to me, it's "home" but not. Which means I need to make my first apartment my new home. I haven't even really got the decorating thing poppin' yet, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to make this place as cozy as possible. Make it mine. Basically "I'm going home" no longer implies Mom's house.

• New financial obligations.

I do not depend on anybody but me. Financially, that is. I pay my own rent. Phone bills. Car insurance. Car maintenance. Credit card bills. Loans. Health insurance. If I'm not paying for it, then I don't have it. I swear I have holes, not just in my pockets, but in my bank account. Sigh.

• New love.

I have had boyfriends before. I've dated. I've played. I've pimped. But this? This right here? Now when I see females doing slightly psycho ish, I truly understand. For some reason, your sanity cannot exist in the same place as your heart. I am crazy. In love. Hopefully, for the first and last time.

• New friends.

So in this category, I have been beyond blessed. Somehow, some way I have located the best people the DMV (DC-Maryland-Virginia area) has to offer. Yeah, it is hard being the new kid on the block, but I feel so comfortable with these people. They have made my transition less turbulent.

• New responsibilities.

I mentioned all of those bills I'm paying, right? Alright. Just checking. Taking care of an apartment--no matter what its size--is also a bit of work. And where is my daggone internet?! And crap, I forgot to make sure pest control can get inside to spray today...you have to take preventative measures. Ugh...just remembered that I haven't taken my car to get a new starter yet if that is even what the issue is. And oh, how I wish I could call Mom and tell her I need a dentist appointment. Now, she'd be like "...and..." so I need to figure out which doctor, dentist, ob-gyn and dermatologist I should go to in DC. I still haven't started studying for the GRE yet. Alright. I'm going to stop now. Because I see where this is going.

This is just a glimpse of the new beginnings I am sorting through right now. I'm not complaining. Not at all. I have so much to be thankful for. But I have so many things that are "susceptible to attack" and deal with so many situations where I am "susceptible to physical or emotional injury." Some people (usually the older folk) don't agree with how I've just stepped out into the unknown and am pretty much on my own...so I am also "open to censure or criticism and assailable."

At the same time, I have never felt so strong and independent. I have been learning more about myself recently than in all of my 23 years combined.

I've learned that I'm not as shy as I thought I was.
I'm not as out-going as I thought I was.
I get along with pretty much anyone.
People really irk me.
Being alone is good for me sometimes.
I cannot stand being alone sometimes.
I am not involved in as much as I want/need to be.
I do way too much.
I adapt to new situations quickly.
I am not always ready for change.
I love hard.
I am stingy with my love.

& it goes on & on...

When it comes down to it, we need these moments of vulnerability.

When you feel you are at your weakest point is when you find and identify your strengths.

HGKWW ::: inside out!!! [Part II]

Ready for the rest of the good-for-your-hair food list?

When we last talked (don't you feel like we have actual conversations? no? okay.), the last item I mentioned was eggs and how they are an excellent source of protein. Well, eggs aren't the only way to get your daily dose of protein...

#8

To prevent developing brittle and dull-colored hair, grab a piece of CHICKEN! Turkey is another bird that has plenty of protein that will keep your hair growing nice and strong. Don't get TOO excited yet...I recommend baking or grilling chicken instead of frying it to keep it on the healthy side. You'll reap the rewards of the birds much better that way and get more nutrients in exchange for all of that grease!

#9

To keep your hair color looking healthy, have good blood flow through your scalp and even fight dandruff, have a good helping of some WHOLE GRAINS. You may not be a raisin bran fanatic like me, but maybe sprinkling some grains in your yogurt (low-fat dairy is another plus for healthy hair) works for you. I sacrificed white bread for whole grain bread in my diet because it is a healthier and more beneficial option. There are plenty of whole grain bars choices out there that you could grab just for a snack. Even consider trying a breakfast cereal that includes whole grains.


Ok...one more? Let's end this with something a little more tasty...

#10

Vitamin C is great for your hair--it stimulates hair growth and helps your body absorb other goodies like amino acids and Vitamin B.  And one of the tastiest ways to get your fill (unless you really enjoy those pasty orange-flavored vitamins) is by eating fresh FRUIT. So feel free to indulge in plenty of oranges, melons, all kinds of berries, lemons and limes!
Now here's the FUN part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......foods to avoid.

I know totally eliminating the fun foods can be difficult...I suggest starting by cutting back...

I'll keep this painful list short and simple.

1. Caffeine (coffee, tea, soda...)
2. Sugar (not my candy!)
3. Starches (Lord knows how I love potatoes in every form)
4. Alcohol (not my margaritas!!!!!!!!)

These are the heavy hitters. And if you engage in any drug-taking or smoking? You need to nix that as well.

Summary of the goodies?

1. Water
2. Dark Green Vegetables
3. Carrots
4. Nuts
5. Salmon
6. Beans
7. Eggs
8. Chicken/Turkey
9. Whole Grains
10. Fruit

Pretty much just sounds like a bunch of things that you've always been told are good for you, huh...

Good luck on your journey to healthier hair...maybe luscious locks are the motivation you needed to get to a healthier you! Just remember...you can use the best hair products on this planet, but if you aren't taking care of yourself your hair will still suffer. Great hair care starts from the inside out =)