140+ :::Same Tale, Different (Fe)Male:::

One of today’s trending topics on twitter is #LiesYouShouldntFallFor…

Interestingly enough, most of ppl’s responses are relationship related…things they have been told by someone they were talking to, liked, sexing, dating, officially with, stalking…however they want to label it…

& it looks like we all hear the same lies…& still choose to believe them in hopes that this person is different from the last…

[to lighten up the bitter mood & add a lil comic relief] i decided to list a few of the most common #LiesYouShouldntFallFor with a little bit of what these lies usually turned out to REALLY mean…

• Anything that starts with “[insert some term of endearment such as ‘babe’]…You know you’re my…” No. I don’t KNOW. Hence me standing before you right now asking. Your recent behavior has me not so sure that i’m your “one & only” or “number one” or whatever else…
• “It’s not you, it’s me.” It’s you. YOU aren’t what they want anymore. So deuces.
• “I just need some time…some space…” so that I can slowly fade out of ur life a little bit easier than if we continued seeing each other all of the time. This is my exit strategy so then I can drop the “We’ve grown apart” line on that a$s…
• “(S)he’s just a friend…” Yeah…a friend that you wish was more than a friend.
• “I’ll never hurt you.” On purpose.
• “Sorry, I’ve just been so busy.” I don’t want to make time for you so I don’t.
• “I’m over him/her.” If you have to keep saying it, then you are only trying to convince YOURSELF.
• “I’m sorry…” that I got caught!!!!!!!! And now I have to listen to your complaining… 
• And sadly, for my last one? “I love you.” And now they officially have that behind reeled in. You now believe you have something substantial here to hold on to & try to work out with this individual. False.

#LiesYouShouldntFallFor………………

"I'm young...educated...single.........no kids..."

When I talk to my White friends about future plans, they NEVER add the “no kids” clause at the end of their list of advantages or things they have going for them.

Why do all of my People Of Color DO this?!

ONE It sadly implies that your life is over if you have kids before a certain age. Children are not an automatic handicap on your life. The timing can be an inconvenience. There may be a change or adjustment of life plans…but if you’re a good parent, having good kids can actually be added to the list of things you have going for yourself.
TWO It really is a reflection of what is going on within our communities. There is a significantly larger amount of teen pregnancies among African Americans & Latinos than Whites. Because the teen pregnancy rates are so high, people feel like they have accomplished something magnificent by avoiding what they feel is becoming a norm. I know the point of the list is “I can head in any direction I want because I don’t have to worry about anyone other than me,” but having kids doesn’t seem to be something that my White friends feel would be a possible hindrance at this age that is worth mentioning.
I don’t have time to elaborate how I really want to right now…but I’ve been really beginning to notice the same conversation can sound so different across racial boundaries.
 Has anyone else noticed this trend?

tbc…..

HGKWW :::nappy vs. kinky:::

Some ppl don't mind the use of the word "nappy" in reference to their hair texture. It's not that i mind, but the word "nappy" has such negative connotations.

I prefer the word "kinky."

Out of curiosity, I googled "nappy."

A couple definitions I ran across are:

1. gross, disgusting
2. fuzzy
3. often offensive--tightly curled or coiled

That doesn't really sound like how I'd like my hair to be described. "Nappy" is even noted as being an offensive word. Apart from the word being defined as "sexually deviant" (mhm...some of y'all already know lol), "kinky" simply means "tightly twisted or curled."

The words are viewed as synonymous, but "nappy" suggests something unfavorable & unpleasant. I see "nappy" as what happens to unkempt kinky hair.

& so i describe my hair texture as "kinky" =)

:::topics:::

—Gimme, Gimme!!! (items i am coveting)
—HGKWW (Hair Gets Kinky When Wet—Black hair tips for those of us w/ a tighter curl)
—Put It On Repeat (great songs i run across that get stuck in my head)
—140+ (When twitter debates & discussions overflow from the 140 character limit)
---Word of the Day (reflections on life)

& when i think of more topics i’d like to run on the regular, i’ll add them =)