HGKWW ::: The Big Break-Up

I recently talked to a friend who had questions about the amount of breakage she was experiencing while trying to grow her relaxer out to go natural.

She didn't understand why she was losing so much hair and was two seconds from giving up because she thought it had something to do with her new growth ruining her hair.

I told her that she needed to take into account that she was dealing with TWO DIFFERENT TEXTURES in her hair now. She can no longer treat her hair as she would if it was still relaxed; however, she can't simply jump into a natural hair routine either & neglect her chemically treated ends.

So this is a quick run-down of what is going on with the transitioning process & how to minimize breakage.

LINE OF DEMARCATION

The point where your relaxed hair and new growth meet is called the line of demarcation. Here, your hair is very weak and it is where you can expect the most breakage. This is why it is recommended that a touch-up relaxer is done ever 4-6 weeks. The presence of two different textures can cause hair to break more easily.

CONDITION

If there was ever a time for you to really focus on conditioning your hair, THIS IS IT. Keeping the protein and moisture in your hair balanced can prevent breakage, especially when you are transitioning. Of course, your new growth and relaxed ends may need different kinds of product to ensure that this balance is maintained; however, taking the extra time to figure out when to use what products is worth the effort. Go here to read more about balanced hair.

MOISTURIZE

If you keep up with my blog, you are probably tired of hearing this. But I can not stress how important moisturizing your hair is. If you are trying to avoid your hair snapping at the line of demarcation, then preventing it from getting dry is one of the best ways to do it. Find an earlier post on how to properly moisturize hair here.

BLENDING

One thing people are always afraid of is how they will look when they venture away from their usual straight hair styles. You will never find your new niche if you stay in your old one. When transitioning, your focus has to be on blending your two hair textures, NOT making your new growth look like your relaxed ends. This means giving the blow dryer & flat iron a rest and experimenting with braid outs and roller sets and other hair styles done while the hair is still wet. Plus, all of that heat will put stress on the line of demarcation & what are we trying to avoid here? Right. Breakage.

TRIM

I know how hard it can be to let go of length. But you need to pay attention to how your ends are looking so that you know when it is time to trim those relaxed ends. You want to avoid any split ends traveling up the shaft of the hair. I have recently adopted the "Search-and-destroy" method for trimming my hair>>>post coming soon!!!

PROTECT

Wearing protective hairstyles to keep your ends tucked away, wearing a satin scarf or cap at night, and investing in a satin pillowcase or two will help prevent breakage, as well. Put the flat iron DOWN. Unless it is a hooded dryer, try not to do it. In case you missed it before, flat ironing and blow drying yank on the hair and snap! Another tip--combing dry hair is a NO-NO!!! The best time to detangle the hair is during the conditioning process. Run the comb through the hair once the conditioner is in it, starting at the ends of the hair and working your way up--DO NOT EVER COMB YOUR HAIR STRAIGHT THROUGH FROM THE ROOTS ALL THE WAY TO THE ENDS! That is a recipe for extreme breakage.

Many of the things mentioned here are tips that should be used on all hair. Transitioning from relaxed to natural is such a fragile time for hair, though so skimping on any of these things could be asking for extra hardship and possible disaster. If you can get these things down and make them a habit during the transitioning process, once all of the relaxed hair has been removed you will be in great shape for caring for your natural hair.

Once again, I encourage any questions or comments!!! This is a very general post & I can go into more detail on any of these tips. Just ask! I'll do my best to suggest ways to ease your frustrations!

HGKWW ::: all grown...out?

Over the past few years I've seen more and more women decide to go natural by doing the "Big Chop"...

I was 13 years old when I decided two years of burning my scalp every 6-8 weeks with Just For Me was enough.

But there was no way in Beelzebub's house that I was going to do the Big Chop. A baby fro was NOT what was hott in middle school & I couldn't imagine myself without long hair anymore.

So I grew my relaxer out. And oh, how I wish I knew the things that I know now.

Having two entirely different textures on your head is really frustrating. They react to products differently and demand different amounts of attention.

Many transitioning women depend on braids, twists and weaves to get them through the change. But what if that is not in the budget or simply not your style? What if you just want to know how to deal with your own hair?

First, I must warn you. It will NOT be easy. This is part of the reason why women are so proud of their natural locks when they start to see progress. You work for it. It does not, however, have to be a painful process.

A few things to keep in mind...

1. DEEP CONDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping the moisture and protein in your hair balanced will so crucial to avoiding breakage. The bond between your relaxed hair and new growth is weak and fragile. Neglecting to keep your hair conditioned is asking for trouble.
2. ADJUST YOUR ROUTINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, what was working for your relaxed hair may not be working out all too well for your new growth and vice versa. You will have to look around for products that make both hair textures happy.
3. EMBRACE YOUR CURLS!!!!!!!!!! Learning to give the flat iron a rest from time to time is a big step. Avoiding styling with heat will help decrease the amount of breakage you might see. Manipulating your hair all of the time never allows it to rest.
4. COMB WHEN WET!!!!!!!!!! I had to learn to not try to do too much combing and detangling when my hair was dry. All I would hear is "snap snap snap" from my relaxed hair breaking from my new growth. You still have to be gentle when the hair is wet, though. Combing the hair while the conditioner is still in it helps with the detangling process. Experiment with styling your hair when it is wet.

I am going to start posting on transitioning hair from time to time. Sometimes you need a little pep talk! Set goals for yourself and reach out to others like you, even if it's just on natural hair forums. Feel free to comment on this post with questions...that'll help inspire future posts!!! Even if I don't know the answer off the top of my head, I don't mind doing a little research to help out!

140+ ::: Gold Diggers

Do you know that song by Teirra Marie called "Sponsor"? Why did it get so much heat? Why can the fellas sing/rap about how they can buy us nice things & then get upset when we sing/rap about all the nice things you buy us?!!!

Let me tell you one got-dang thing. The way you present yourself affects who you attract.

A gold digger isn't gonna hover around a guy who isn't showing her all of his money.

If u don't want a woman who is mainly about ur money, then don't try to court women using mainly ur money. Duh, fool.

Now me, personally? I do not like to take things from men. So you will never hear me cry to my man about anything other than some cuddle time. No Gucci, Michael Kors, Fendi, Jimmy Choo, Chanel, Prada, Givenchy for me unless I bought it my daggone self. There is a whole spectrum of women and I just happen to be on one extreme end.

If you are trying to attract a cool, funny lady who you can have some nice conversations with, then be cool and funny and start a nice conversation.

Or you can flash your cash and be surprised when the material girls show up.

HGKWW ::: "Do as I say & not as I do"

When it comes to my hair, I am far from a saint. I have some lazy ways and bad habits. Yes. Shame on me. If I wasn't blessed with so much hair, I swear I'd be bald.

College made the laziness REALLY kick in because I always found an excuse not to carry out my hair routine (meetings, coursework, SLEEP). Part of the reason I started the natural hair posts on my blog is to create some kind of accountability for myself. Yes, people always ask me how I got my hair to do this and that...but it's hard to tell people what to do when you're not doing it yourself. Guilt will keep poking you in the ribs, reminding you that you are not practicing what your preach.

Now that I have completed my undergrad career, I have more time to focus on me. This includes taking better care of my hair again.

In my last post, I gave the basic rundown of how you should go about washing your hair. In the interest of keeping it simple, I didn't go into which shampoos and conditioners should be used and how often and so on.

FIRST
Here is a 2 minute tutorial on understanding protein and moisture (more in-depth post coming soon):

• Moisture: water gives hair elasticity
• Protein: gives hair strength and structure 
• Your hair needs to have a balance of moisture and protein to be healthy and avoid breakage.
• How to tell what your hair needs:

THE WET ASSESSMENT

Use this chart to evaluate your hair while running through it with a comb or your fingers.

When your hair is…	& it does this…	Then you need…
Wet or Dry	Stretches slightly and returns to original length w/o breaking	Neither more protein or moisture—you are BALANCED
Wet or Dry	Stretches a little more than normal before breaking	More protein
Wet or Dry	Keeps stretching with no significant breakage	More protein
Wet	Feels weak, mushy or limp	More protein
Wet or Dry	Snaps with little to no stretching	More moisture
Dry	Feels rough, dry & brittle	More moisture

If you aren't really sure about what your hair needs from how it behaved, then add more moisture to be on the safe side.

Now all of this was important because there are protein based and moisture based products. You need to know what your hair needs in order to know which products you need to be using and how often.

• SHAMPOOS
• Moisturizing Shampoo (use 1-2 times a week)
• soften & detangle hair, sodium/ammonium lauryl sulfate free
• Neutragena Triple Moisture Cream Lather Shampoo, Creme of Nature Shampoo, Aveda Sap Moss Shampoo
• Clarifying Shampoo (use 1-2 times a month)
• remove hair product buildup, gives squeaky clean feeling
• Pantene Pro-V Purity Shampoo, Suave, AVEDA Detox, V05
• CONDITIONERS
• Deep Conditioner (use protein or moisture based depending on hair needs; use once a week after moisturizing shampoo for 30-40 minutes under a hooded dryer, if possible)
• Moisturizing: Neutrogena Triple Moisture Daily Conditioner or Deep Recovery Mask, Dove Intense Moisture, Herbal Essences Replenishing Conditioner, Ms. Jessie's Rapid Recovery Treatment
• Protein: Suave Humectant, ORS, Motions Moisture Silk
• Leave In Conditioner (Use after shampooing hair or as daily water-based moisturizer)
• Moisturizing: Neutragena Triple Moisture Silk Touch Leave In, Kinky Curly Knot Today, Motions Spray Leave-In
• Protein: Cantu Shea Butter Leave In, Mane & Tail

There are hundreds of products out there. I only listed a few products I have used before (& boy have I tried a TON of hair products). Go out there & experiment! Research your products! Don't just trust the brand and the label.

***Also...just because something is in the "ethnic hair care" aisle does NOT mean it is the best for your hair. I purposely included brand names like Neutrogena, Dove & Herbal Essences because many times we write those products off since we grow up thinking they aren't made "for us." We become married to the products we grew up using, but we really don't need to be. For example, you will only find hair grease under ethnic hair care, but grease is not even good for your hair!!!!!! Don't limit yourself to a product line because it is packaged in shades of brown or has a brown-skinned woman on the front of it. EXPAND!!!!!!!!! EXPLORE!!!!!!!!!! EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!

The Wet Assessment Source

HGKWW ::: all washed up!!!

Washing your hair may seem as simple as slapping your favorite shampoo around in your hair for a couple minutes before rinsing it out...but there is a little more to it.

There actually is a right way to wash your hair.

Before I say anything else, though...do yourself a favor and buy a shower comb!!! They really are that great, especially if your hair is natural. There is such a difference between how a regular comb versus a shower comb glide through your hair when detangling in the shower. Plus, there is much less of a risk of ripping your hair out.

I usually co-wash (washing hair with conditioner...post coming soon), but this will focus on how to correctly execute a basic wash using shampoo, conditioning the hair afterward.

TIP: Before we begin, I strongly recommend placing your hair into sections. This allows you to manuever through your hair more easily and results in less tangling. It will also make the rinsing process quicker and more effective.

ONE: Rinse your hair for about a minute or two before adding shampoo. You want to saturate your hair and rid it of any topical debris, dirt and oil. You also want to make sure all hair product buildup is gone before you add shampoo

TIP: Warm or cold water are fine to wash your hair with (notice I did NOT say scalding hot); however, I recommend using warmer water initially to help open the cuticles and cooler water for the final rinse to close and seal them.

TWO: After getting a lather going in your hands, work the shampoo on to your scalp and NOT the ends of your hair. This is where washing your hair in sections may come in handy, especially for thicker hair. Shampoo is actually very drying on the ends of your hair, something I learned only a few years ago, so you will want to focus on using it to clean the scalp and near the roots of your hair.

TIP: Use your fingers to rub and massage--not scratch--your scalp. Although it feels so good sometimes and we might even remember Mom giving our scalp a good scratch'n when we were younger...your fingernails really should not be making that much contact with your scalp, if any. Scratching damages and irritates the skin, which is not conducive to a healthy scalp.

THREE: Rinse WELL. Time permitting, repeat shampoo process. You might want to allow the shampoo to rest for a couple minutes before rinsing it out the second time around. This gives the shampoo more time to bind to any leftover dirt and oil from the first round. Rinse THOROUGHLY.

FOUR: Apply a conditoner, focusing on the hairline and ends of the hair. Remember that good ol' shower comb? Use it to comb conditioner through the hair, which will smooth and detangle the hair. Place shower cap on your head to allow the conditioner to do its work for about 10 minutes before rinsing.

Simple, right?

There are different kinds of shampoos and conditoners that all have different effects and purposes, depending on what your hair needs. Do your research! Make sure you know what you are putting in your hair and if you are giving it what it needs. And of course, I'm always here to help you find your way ;-)

WOTD :::vulnerability:::

For the first time in my life, I feel completely vulnerable.

New city.
New job.
New home.
New financial obligations.
New love.
New friends.
New responsibilities.

Nothing is safe.

vulnerability

[[[noun form of vulnerable]]]

vul·ner·a·ble adj.

1. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.

2. Susceptible to attack
3. Open to censure or criticism; assailable.



• New city.

I recently relocated from New Jersey to Washington, DC. All I have known my whole life is New Jersey. I spent 23 years and 2 months as a NJ resident. My mom got a job in Virginia and just peace'd out, so it's not even like I can go visit her in NJ because that isn't "home" anymore.

So here I am in the nation's capitol. Trying to get comfortable.

Do you know how annoying it is to go from being able to give people directions ANYwhere including the landmarks without a second thought to having to pull up Google Maps every time you need to find a CVS or gas station? UGH. I've been pretty good about learning where NOT to go alone at night, though...which is pretty much OUTSIDE.

• New job.

I am a fresh & hot off the press college graduate. I plan on going back to school soon, but until then I need a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table. What better way to make that happen than to score a job?! I'm just beginning to stop having inner panic attacks whenever I speak to the CEO. He's really cool, actually.

• New home.

I mentioned that I live in DC now. That includes a new place to live. Since Mom's new house in VA is still a little foreign to me, it's "home" but not. Which means I need to make my first apartment my new home. I haven't even really got the decorating thing poppin' yet, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to make this place as cozy as possible. Make it mine. Basically "I'm going home" no longer implies Mom's house.

• New financial obligations.

I do not depend on anybody but me. Financially, that is. I pay my own rent. Phone bills. Car insurance. Car maintenance. Credit card bills. Loans. Health insurance. If I'm not paying for it, then I don't have it. I swear I have holes, not just in my pockets, but in my bank account. Sigh.

• New love.

I have had boyfriends before. I've dated. I've played. I've pimped. But this? This right here? Now when I see females doing slightly psycho ish, I truly understand. For some reason, your sanity cannot exist in the same place as your heart. I am crazy. In love. Hopefully, for the first and last time.

• New friends.

So in this category, I have been beyond blessed. Somehow, some way I have located the best people the DMV (DC-Maryland-Virginia area) has to offer. Yeah, it is hard being the new kid on the block, but I feel so comfortable with these people. They have made my transition less turbulent.

• New responsibilities.

I mentioned all of those bills I'm paying, right? Alright. Just checking. Taking care of an apartment--no matter what its size--is also a bit of work. And where is my daggone internet?! And crap, I forgot to make sure pest control can get inside to spray today...you have to take preventative measures. Ugh...just remembered that I haven't taken my car to get a new starter yet if that is even what the issue is. And oh, how I wish I could call Mom and tell her I need a dentist appointment. Now, she'd be like "...and..." so I need to figure out which doctor, dentist, ob-gyn and dermatologist I should go to in DC. I still haven't started studying for the GRE yet. Alright. I'm going to stop now. Because I see where this is going.

This is just a glimpse of the new beginnings I am sorting through right now. I'm not complaining. Not at all. I have so much to be thankful for. But I have so many things that are "susceptible to attack" and deal with so many situations where I am "susceptible to physical or emotional injury." Some people (usually the older folk) don't agree with how I've just stepped out into the unknown and am pretty much on my own...so I am also "open to censure or criticism and assailable."

At the same time, I have never felt so strong and independent. I have been learning more about myself recently than in all of my 23 years combined.

I've learned that I'm not as shy as I thought I was.
I'm not as out-going as I thought I was.
I get along with pretty much anyone.
People really irk me.
Being alone is good for me sometimes.
I cannot stand being alone sometimes.
I am not involved in as much as I want/need to be.
I do way too much.
I adapt to new situations quickly.
I am not always ready for change.
I love hard.
I am stingy with my love.

& it goes on & on...

When it comes down to it, we need these moments of vulnerability.

When you feel you are at your weakest point is when you find and identify your strengths.

HGKWW ::: inside out!!! [Part II]

Ready for the rest of the good-for-your-hair food list?

When we last talked (don't you feel like we have actual conversations? no? okay.), the last item I mentioned was eggs and how they are an excellent source of protein. Well, eggs aren't the only way to get your daily dose of protein...

#8

To prevent developing brittle and dull-colored hair, grab a piece of CHICKEN! Turkey is another bird that has plenty of protein that will keep your hair growing nice and strong. Don't get TOO excited yet...I recommend baking or grilling chicken instead of frying it to keep it on the healthy side. You'll reap the rewards of the birds much better that way and get more nutrients in exchange for all of that grease!

#9

To keep your hair color looking healthy, have good blood flow through your scalp and even fight dandruff, have a good helping of some WHOLE GRAINS. You may not be a raisin bran fanatic like me, but maybe sprinkling some grains in your yogurt (low-fat dairy is another plus for healthy hair) works for you. I sacrificed white bread for whole grain bread in my diet because it is a healthier and more beneficial option. There are plenty of whole grain bars choices out there that you could grab just for a snack. Even consider trying a breakfast cereal that includes whole grains.


Ok...one more? Let's end this with something a little more tasty...

#10

Vitamin C is great for your hair--it stimulates hair growth and helps your body absorb other goodies like amino acids and Vitamin B.  And one of the tastiest ways to get your fill (unless you really enjoy those pasty orange-flavored vitamins) is by eating fresh FRUIT. So feel free to indulge in plenty of oranges, melons, all kinds of berries, lemons and limes!
Now here's the FUN part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......foods to avoid.

I know totally eliminating the fun foods can be difficult...I suggest starting by cutting back...

I'll keep this painful list short and simple.

1. Caffeine (coffee, tea, soda...)
2. Sugar (not my candy!)
3. Starches (Lord knows how I love potatoes in every form)
4. Alcohol (not my margaritas!!!!!!!!)

These are the heavy hitters. And if you engage in any drug-taking or smoking? You need to nix that as well.

Summary of the goodies?

1. Water
2. Dark Green Vegetables
3. Carrots
4. Nuts
5. Salmon
6. Beans
7. Eggs
8. Chicken/Turkey
9. Whole Grains
10. Fruit

Pretty much just sounds like a bunch of things that you've always been told are good for you, huh...

Good luck on your journey to healthier hair...maybe luscious locks are the motivation you needed to get to a healthier you! Just remember...you can use the best hair products on this planet, but if you aren't taking care of yourself your hair will still suffer. Great hair care starts from the inside out =)